california dreaming

I'm back!

2010-08-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone ( echo)

AH! I have abandoned this blog for a while... so what happened... hm... i was unemployed... been on the dole and going to the job centre and going for stupid job interviews... and applying for jobs that i clearly couldn't do but I kept waisting my time applying anyway...

But now, I am back! I have a job at Molinare Post and I am enjoying working there.
The team I work with is amazing and I think I might even made some good friends! Everyone is creative and hard workers. It just feels really nice... I hope it doesn't change. I will do all I can so that we can keep it this way.

I have also finished my 2d animation course (you might have seen some of my animations that I posted earlier...echo again...)

I am at the moment working on my own website where I will have all my animations in good quality and I am also developing a new project... it might take me about...er... 2 years?

I will keep y'all updated.

So for today's post I will leave you with a song I have been listening almost everyday for the past 3 months.

Her name is SIA and she used to be in ZERO7. Never ever in my life I thought she would be such a great influence in me. She is gorgeous and has the most interesting artwork/outfits. Also she is super mega nice.

Enjoy

PS. you must be standing up doing silly dance and in chorus "CLAP YOUR HANDS"

Well I've been
Neglecting the good things (Oh oh woah)
Well I've been disiring
The good things (Oh oh oh)
I'm biting the lighting
The good things (Oh oh woah)
I've been minding what to see
The good things (oh oh oh)

Just let me out of my misery (Oh oh oh)

(Oh oh) Let me
Get out of misery (Oh oh oh)

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

Oh clap your hands

I'm trying to find in the good things (Oh oh woah)
I'm finding this might be a good thing (Oh oh oh)

Just let me out of my misery (Oh oh oh)

(Oh oh) On a night like this
Get out of misery

(Oh oh oh)

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

Oh Clap your hands
Clap your hands (x3)

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Turn the lights on my nights
This is life
And we only get one chance

Oh

Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Come on dance
Take a chance on romance me
We only get one shot at this

NEW NEW NEW

2010-06-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

new version of brain

2010-03-10T02:40:00.000-08:00

Brain

2010-03-02T14:33:00.000-08:00

Hello Peeps!!

Here's the latest animation "BRAIN"

I need feedback about the sound... di you like it? what feeling did it bring? does it make any sense?

xxx
Raquel

Ghost post 3

2009-10-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

2009-10-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

ghost post 2

2009-10-06T04:50:00.000-07:00

Ghost post - what do you think?

2009-09-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

You Tube Page

2009-06-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

Enjoying the sunny weather? Let's hope it keeps this way for longer...

Anyway, enough about weather talk...

I have put up my Youtube page for you all to enjoy.

There you can watch some of my work as a director and be in touch leaving your comments and rates!

SPREAD THE WORD!

http://www.youtube.com/TheInAnimated

Creating the business

2009-06-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

Yo peepos!!!

Wassup?

Well, There ain't many things cheering me up at the mo, but just being here posting is a good sign things will change.

It's beutiful outside and i'm inside creating the infrastructure of my new business.

It is called In-Animated-Productions and the website and youtube page will be coming soon!
Plus there will be a twitter page to promote myself!

HURRAY FOR WEBSITES SUCH AS MYSPACE, TWITTER AND FACEBOOK! Yes!

Let me know your thoughts and ideas.

More news will be published soon

Bye now and enjoy summer time while it lasts!!!!

Little video it was sent to me this morning by my good friend Keith Turner.
Here it goes

Sunshine

2009-06-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps!

I'm feeling on holiday mood today... I'm imagining myself on a beach, surrounded by the sea, amazing food, sand between my feet... *sigh* what a lovely feeling!

I just wished it was sunny everyday ... and warm... Let's say 25º would be enough... We didn't need to wear boots anymore... we could be almost naked...

Anyone sharing the same feeling? I think we should do a petition with the gods of weather Pro sunny days!

No video yet. Need to think of a good summer song. Any suggestions?

Lots of love

Grizzly Bear

2009-06-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

EXCITEMENT!

EXCITEMENT!

YES!

YESSSSSSSS!

THIS IS THE SONG OF THE SUMMER!

AAAAAAH!

DOWNLOAD IT!

BUY THE ALBUM

PUT ON REPEAT ON YOUTUBE!!

ME, I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT!

" AH HA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!

MAKE IT EAAAAASY!

Friends

2009-06-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hello there peeps!

Things are getting better over this end! I am going by the philosophy of living the moment - Have you tried this one? It's very good I must tell y'all!

Basically, you ignore the voice in your head that criticizes you all the time. Ignore. Also stop being nostalgic about the past... maybe just remember every now and then - but not so often - good stuff just to refresh you... only the good thoughts...but don't make it the rule, or what the future must be like... then another one is don't think about the future. Just think, NOW.

I'm not telling you to be irresponsible and act by impulse ... instead I'm saying, enjoy the moment while it lasts.

This weekend was amazing. I spent it with great friends. I had so much fun! Lobsters and scallops at the local pub, then an unexpected all nighter at a friend's pub where i laughed for about 8 hours! Very very enjoyable. And the subjects we debated were also very funny... did you know women go to the point not only to wax their parts where the sun doesn't often shine, to actually bleach it to make it look "better". GOODNESS ME! We also learnt about how some milionaires made their fortune and I learn the lyrics of all Led Zeplin songs! THEY MADE ME! BABY BABY BABY! LONELY LONELY LONELY!

So as you can see, not only I had fun, I also learnt new things! woo hoo!

So because I'm very ahppy with the friends I've got here's a clip by the amazing flight of the concords!

Enjoy

2009-06-05T08:56:00.001-07:00

Mr. Knot

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/INANIMATEDPRODUCTIONS

Some people have real problems

2009-05-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps.

I would like to start this post by telling everyone who thinks I talk too much, to fuck off, get out of my life, leave me alone, die far away from me, i shall ignore your presence for the rest of my life and I will be very very happy.

Thank you.

Now, for those who appreciate life without having to gossip or tell bad things about and to others, here's my videos of the day.

May I just make my little manifesto of life shortly before I proceed (don't want to burn my precious ones left):

I live for art, for imagination and happiness. I believe in love and harmony. I believe if we hold hands we will generate enough energy for a meal. i am there if anyone needs and I give my skin (cos i have loads of it) just to see someone smile

OK, wash those tears away.

Compose.

Focus.

We're back.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am having a life crisis... So often I come to Youtube to look for new ideas.

Last week was amazed by documentaries about Brian Eno (must show the one about the 70 milion paintings), have spent many insomnia nights listening to Beck, and recently have been checking SIA out.

When her solo album " colour the small" came out i couldn't get it out of my discman... but kinda faded away...

Anyway, yesterday checked SIA out, see what she was doing.

OH MY GOD! THAT'S IT! THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEEDED.

Check this out! I was going to write lots of things, but I talk too much...

Let the images speak cos they have 1000 words in each...now make the maths and carry on living!

:)

Buttons ( dedicated to Do-not-push-my-buttons). live at Jools Holland

(ah! lyrics express my day, it's part of the manifesto)You got me pushing imaginary buttons
Step away from me lover, away from me lover
You got me counting imaginary school children
Get away from me lover, away from me lover
Yes I can see that my carpet is animated
Walk away from me lover, away from me lover
Yes I see you open wounds in everyone I’ve dated
Away from me lover, get away from me lover

I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
Oh oh oh oh
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
Oh oh oh oh

You got me turning all the lights on and off
Walk away from me lover, away from me lover
When will you see that I am carrying this stuff
Walk away from me lover, away from me lover
Can’t you see that I am losing my marbles
It’s marvellous losing another, losing another

I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
Oh oh oh oh
I am no good for you
I’m seeing ghosts in everything I do
Oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh walk away from me lover, away from me lover
Oh oh oh get away from me lover, away from me lover
Oh oh oh step away from me lover, away from me lover
Oh oh oh walk away from me lover, away from me lover

"The girl you lost to cocaine"

ENJOY!!!!!!!! AND TALK TALK TALK! TELL EVERYONE WHAT'S INSIDE! GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEMS!

Human Beat Box

2009-05-26T03:51:00.001-07:00

Yo all!

Hope you're all well and jolly!

As I've been slowing down a bit, I've also been discovering new artists and new ways of "making music" - one needs to get some inspiration somewhere...

So I found Jamie Lidell. Not only he is a hottie, but also he knows what he's doing and he does it like no one else!

This is the most recent footage of his tour... He is just playing with his favorite instrument.

Enjoy!

Come Back

2009-05-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

After my long absence I'm back... Guess I've been busy and now life is making me slow down a bit so I can restart communicating with you all again...

In these last few months I've been busy living... I've been to Iceland and back where I had a life changing experience... have been thinking a lot about life and what we are doing here - should we go back to being more savage and we could live better lives? Friendships and the reasons why some individuals come our ways - good and bad ways... why some of them leave us for another 20 years, and others why they happen to visit in the first place...

I have started doing my own videos now so hopefully i'll be able to show you some of them soon (ish)... I've been making stop frame animations with only one tool... which I cannot reveal otherwise my plan will go down the drains of creativity.

I've also plugged the keyboards and have been exploring music. It's still a very early approach and haven't improved much... but it's a long process...

And what a mind fuck this is... you look at the keyboard and you think " all music is here, all of it, there, waiting to be played..." yet i press a key and some horrible sound comes... I need to find my rhythm and my melody... but it's kinda of a philosophical one let me tell you. the way i've been trying to approach music is more in a sound technician way... so back to the books as-well...

I don't think I'll be able to relax in the next 80 years... I have realized how much I need to learn and what I need to learn, but where to start is the most difficult part... it's like playing solitaire... but one of those really really difficult games...

Anyway, good to see you all. Hope you like to see me back!

I have recently been amazed downloading applications for my iphone. If you have the chance check my latest addiction "Bloom" from Brian Eno.

Also have been back to my Matthew Herbert records.

Check this documentary on Youtube

PART I

PART II

PART III

PART IV

PART V

PART VI

Enjoy peeps!

Completing A jigsaw puzzle

2008-09-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

If you do jigsaw puzzles you certainly experienced the fear of being almost finished and realise you actualy don't have all the pieces, some went missing while you had to transfer the puzzle 100 times around the house because it was getting bigger and bigger... or maybe it's just me, I should have counted the pieces before I ever started to do the puzzle... but puzzles are like that, it's a progression... it's like building a house or a town... it takes time and it can be very difficult do do skies... or forests...

But other puzzles are that aren't the traditional ones, they are episodes of life. Some may call them circles but for me it's more like making a jigsaw puzzle. Once it's finished and you can see the image clear... AAAAAH! *SIGH* WHAT A FEELING!

If 12 years ago I would have dreamt that one day someone was going to create a thing called DVD with all the videos from a band, live shows, interviews, my teenage years would have been problably much more relaxed, not as exciting though and i would probably be a dentist now!

When OK COMPUTER came out I couldn't afford it. I still haven't got an original of ok computer because i think it was yet not meant to be... so, i couldn't afford to buy the album therefore i was collecting all the footage i could get from all the channels on my satelite. I have on tape the premiere of paranoid android's video on MTV (it was in a program called MTV HOT), paranoid android performed on jools holland (this one above!), all the first footage from the Barcelona gigs

PAUSE: OK COMPUTER WAS FIRST PLAYED FOR 4 NIGHT IN A ROW IN LISBON AND OPORTO. thank you very much!

PLAY:

Then one night, me and my sister were home alone and we had the chance to check all the channels we couldnt when mum was home at night... we caught radiohead on jay leno but i only got it half way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it was going to repet the next day so i wasnt so woried... but it didnt! mum didn't pay the satelite bill and the next day there was no tv. NOTHING! NO TV!my only source of new music was dead.finito!

but like i said in the beggining of my testimonial, if I knew that almost 12 years later you tube would exist with EVERYTHING I WOULDNT HAVE CRIED AS MANY TEARS... but i guess that's how life goes

I WONDER in 12 years what will be so easy that i find now so difficult to find... Love?

Birthday bunch

2008-09-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Seems like it´s everyone´s birthday this week! Well that, or i only like people who were born from the 8th to the 11th of september...

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO

TÓ - 8th September

XANA - 10th September

TONY+ EMMA TORRINGTON - 11TH SEPTEMBER

xxxxxx

Um post para as minhas amigas!

2008-09-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

Ola To, Ola Xana, Ola Celia.

Este e o primeiro post em portugues.

Alguns amigos meus ingleses leem o blog mas como nunca poe comentarios eu resolvi fazer um post dedicado a voces, as minhas "clientes" aqui do tasco!

Aqui vai uma musiquita pra voz meceses...

(This post is dedicated to my friends To, Xana and Celia. For translation go to google translation... i'm very exclusive today. this is my code, my language, learn it and you will be closer to me)

Ora tomem!

Perhaps, perhaps perhaps

2008-08-29T01:40:00.000-07:00

You won't admite you love me, and so, how am I ever, to know, you only answer...perhaps...perhaps...perhaps...

IF YOU CAN'T MAKE YOUR MIND UP, WE'LL NEVER GET STARTED!

To Hobbes Survivour 1996-2008

2008-08-28T04:34:00.000-07:00

We were packing for another summer holiday when Osiris, my cat-soulmate gave me the look "they are coming". Seemed as though she was hurrying to have her kittens before we left for holidays. Usually i would help her with labour but we were in a hurry to leave, so i left her there giving her one last kiss in her swallon tummy.

She had 5 beautiful kittens but only one survived.
And for his well being she aet the other 4.

We came back a week later and i carried religiously the new single from my favourite band that summer, ash, angel interceptor.
We named our lovely new born Hobbes Survivour".

Last night he gave his soul to the saviour.

We will miss you. Your sweetness and strong character.

xx

Top5

2008-08-05T02:47:00.000-07:00

I wondered this morning, in a little chalenge to myself, which would be my favourite songs ever...
In no particular order:

-California Dreaming by Mamas and Papas
-My Girl - The Temptations
-House of the Rising Sun - The Animals
-Imagine - John Lennon
-Alone in Kioto - Air

It's strange but all this songs are old (appart from air's) and they all remind me of home...

None of them have official videos... hm...

You have seen it, now do it yourself

2008-08-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was reading someone's blog recently about how the girl in question didn't know what to do of her career. To me it all seemed like someone who was too scared to try and do actualy what she loves. In her mind she would love to be a designer but she's to scared so she buys lots of pieces from others... and to think she could be doing them herself...

Me, I also look at what others do and think " I will never be able to do it". As a young sound designer i listen to what others do and think " no. never". somehow humans have this negativity incorporated in their system. But i found the key. We need to unlock it!

For many years I did my own things but have always been too scared to show them to others. It's a little fear of rejection, but if i never show them then no one will see them, and then will never be able to get better... because... we work for the others. we want to receive payments that's for ourselves and to survive, but we do work for others so... keep your eyes and ears opened.

Yesterday, finally installed in a much deserved new huge bedroom my studio.I am now officialy starting my little "dream factory". It's called TAKKFYRIR which means thank you in icelandic.

I a currently working in a little video shot by my sister which i will be posting tonight.
In the meantime check it out on www.myspace.com/raxy

I have watched milions of music videos, i have the superhuman capcity of remembering every single shot of each one of them.

When i moved to London, considering i could only bring one suitecase with my, i selected my favourite DVD ever, so I chose "Gorillaz demon days". I moved to london carrying hopes and dreams, and always looked at this dvd as "this is how it should be done"

This might sound spookey but needs to be told.

Last year, after being a runner for months and not seeing my situation in london in good roads, i thought "maybe i should go back", but on that same day someone rang the buzzer from work, and, believe it or not, it was Nigel Godrich... I think i told this story before. He was editing his program "From the Basement" and had a team of editors and a director who i only knew by DAVID.

So then i decided to stay.

From the basement was finished and they left, leaving me again in perspective.

Second atempt of going back and i bump into "DAVID" the director, who, very kindly, gives me his phone number.

a year later we meet up for a coffee and another, and another and another until i ask him what's his surname was.

Barnard.

Coincidence, faith, destiny, all that or maybe not, he directed "Demon Days" my favourite DVD, the only DVD i brought with me when i moved.

Does this message give you any strenght today? hope so. Here's a clip o David's work and go check my own, because from now on, I have seen it, now I'll be doing it myself!

Closed for business I'm going home

2008-07-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

Sound and Vision

2008-07-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

Don't you wonder sometimes
'Bout sound and vision

Blue, blue, electric blue
That's the colour of my room
Where I will live
Blue, blue

Pale blinds drawn all day
Nothing to do, nothing to say
Blue, blue

I will sit right down,
Waiting for the gift of sound and vision
And I will sing, waiting for the gift of sound and vision
Drifting into my solitude,
over my head

Don't you wonder sometimes
'Bout sound and vision

say no more, say no more mr jones... You know how I feel...ahahah

A delight to the soul

2008-07-01T03:55:00.000-07:00

I believe the best things in life happen when you're least expecting and in the most random places.

Never misjudge a random place.

So there I was last night at Fresh and Wild, choosing a pack of gluten free cookies when in my Ipod starts playing this song.

My soul opened, my heart beat was in tune and everything stopped. EVERYTHING.

The hair in my arms stood up, every molecule in me was paralised. It was this delightful melody.

Some people can really touch you...

LOSER

2008-06-14T03:18:00.000-07:00

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin’ with a loser and the cruise control
Baby’s in reno with the vitamin d
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in sayin’ I’m insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don’t believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin’ all your food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park

Yo. cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

(double barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
’cuz one’s got a weasel and the other’s got a flag
One’s on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and it’s hangin’ from a pigeon wing
You can’t write if you can’t relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite
who's chokin’ on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooaaaar....

?em llik uoy t'nod yhw os ,ybab resol a m'I adanaC revo raoS
[You can hear hear it if you reverse it.]

(I’m a driver, I’m a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(I can’t believe you)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Nlehh...)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Sprechen Sie Deutsch hier, Baby!)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(know what I’m sayin’? )

I SPRED MY ANKLE, COULDN´T MAKE IT TO THE LONDON INTERNATIONAL MUSIC SHOW I´VE BEEN WAITING TO GO FOR MORE THAN A MONTH, I´M STUCK IN BED, CAN´T GO TO WORK, CAN´T GO TO THE PUB, OR EVEN SUPERMARKET. I HAVE TO RELY ON MY FRIENDS BUT THEY ARE WORKING NOW OR IN THE PUB...
TV SUCKS! WATCHED BIG BROTHER REPEAT AGAIN AND AGAIN. EVEN WATCHED BIG BROTHER LIVE!
JUST REALISED THE BRITISH TV IS MAINLY REALITY SHOWS.
THERE´S REALITY SHOWS ABOUT:

HAIRSTYLIST
13 PEOPLE LIVING TOGETHER IN A HOUSE
ROCK N ROLLERR IN LA
CELEBRITY REHAB
THE APPRENTICE ABOUT BUSINESS...

YOU NAME IT!

CAN SOMEONE BUY ME SOME MILK AND RICE?

COULD´T BE FEELING WORST.

BUT

AFTER THE RAIN COMES SUN SO HERE I AM WAITING,
FOR THE MOMENT, IM A LOSER BABY SO WHY DON´T YOU KILL ME

What it feels like for a girl

2008-06-05T04:44:00.000-07:00

A year ago I received the heaviest call saying my mum had breast cancer.

A year later, one breast away, the evil tumor, the demonised bug is now rubish, gone and she is clear.

Now, do you know what it feels like for a girl?

the importance of your birthday

2008-05-30T03:00:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are important because it was the day that changed your parents lives.

It was also the day you decided to come out of your mother and take way her pain

birthdays don't make you older, makes you wiser

it's one day of the year you don't forget no metter how and you usualy remember how the weather was.

Birthdays are good.

Happy birthday Duncan Jones

Me and my army

2008-05-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Me and my army fight for happiness

we have special outfits

some of us are angels

altogether we form a strong wall

no tornados put us down

we are the angels' army

aaaaaaaaaaaah (sarcastic laugh)

where´s my home?

2008-05-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

i was born in lisbon, the capital of Portugal on the 23rd day of december in the year os 1983.
i lived here until i was 22 and moved to london some time ago.

i grew up listenning to english music and watching english movies and tv

now i come to portugal every couple of months and i think and think and think if there´s something i can relate to this country...
i have found my love for trees in london. i came to lisbon hoping to see these trees in a different way and i cannot see them as beautiful...there aren´t appealing, they are sad and grumpy... should i?... i was born here, should i love them more?
i am looking, sometimes desperatly, for these roots. i search them here at home and i cannot find them

but i thought at least coming home the tinniest roots were here. the nest where i keept my memories would stay intact... but it´s fading away because there are more important things to think right now. the strenght isn´t the same from when i was a teenager.i shall keep those thoughts, my memories, all in my head.
home was where i keept the pretious things, it would be a very strong rock. nothing would take my things away. was a safe box, whatever you want to call it.

right now, my things are in many places. i wonder if my mind is in different places aswell. there´s no safe rock anymore...
moving houses is difficult there´s always so many things we loose. my point is, if i loose these things i loose control...i haven´t got any control any more...

is there any safe box? does one exist for each one of us? is there a point looking for our own box? what´s the point in having a nest?

one thng for sure, the mind is powerfull and i cannot forget my past to built a better future...

The songs we sing

2008-05-12T03:39:00.000-07:00

There isn't anything i love most in my life than my records. Music floats. I listen to the same songs over and over again. I don't think of genres, i don't even know what "sort of music" i like, i just like music.

My biggest frustration is not knowing if i carry any music within me to be able to make any. Sure by listening to it so much i must have something in me...

Dancing to the music is also so instant that it's almost uncontrollable.

Is this a disease? i know if i work hard i can do it but i see so many people, younger than me with so much talent... i keep forgetting i have ever had any talent in me.

I need to get it somewhere. from someone...probably me...

I love this song from charlotte gainsboug. i can listen to it over and over again. the lyrics are so powerful to me it makes me cry.

"And the song that we sing, do they mean anything to the people we're singing them to, people like you"

Going on

2008-05-12T03:18:00.000-07:00

Lost

2008-05-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

I 'm lost. Completly lost. Haven't got a clue what to do of my life. what's my future, where to go, what to do, what to follow.

Never in my life i had such crisis. i'm 25, i feel very young but i haven't got a clue what's my next step workwise going to be.

Very annoying.

So, i'm playing this song in repeat to get some inertia to do something of my life.

.

Our house, is a very very very fine house with two cats in the yard...

2008-04-30T02:05:00.000-07:00

CROSBY, STILLS and NASH

I'll light the fire, while you place the flowers
In the vase that you bought today.
Staring at the fire for hours and hours,
While I listen to you play your love songs
All night long for me, only for me.

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.
With two cats in the yard,
Life used to be so hard,
Now everything is easy 'cause of you.

Come to me now, and rest your head for just five minutes,
Everything is done.
Such a cozy room, the windows are illuminated
By the evening sunshine through them,
Fiery gems for you, only for you.

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.
With two cats in the yard,
Life used to be so hard,
Now everything is easy 'cause of you.

...And another very bad video. just listen to the song.

House Martins

2008-04-30T01:59:00.001-07:00

(don't mind the video. i assume it's a little silly...listen to the lyrics)

"Children of the world can see there's a place better for us to be" - for Ritinha

the meaning in the lyric

2008-04-28T06:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday The Good the Bad and the Queen at victoria park and they played a new version of "ghost town" an original from The specials.

I have posted this song before because i really liked it. i liked the lyrics but i guess only yesterday i understood their real meaning.

It was a song written about the racist riots that were going on 30 years ago in britain.

Now it makes sense! my body froze, i got in a complete trance while they were playing, very very very intense.

In Portugal music was very important in our 25th april 1974revolution when portugal passed from a facist regime to a democratic one

so now, im playing the two songs. Music is such a powerfull weapon.

Ghost Town - the specials

This town, is coming like a ghost town
All the clubs have been closed down
This place, is coming like a ghost town
Bands won't play no more
too much fighting on the dance floor

Do you remember the good old days
Before the ghost town?
We danced and sang,
And the music played inna de boomtown

This town, is coming like a ghost town
Why must the youth fight against themselves?
Government leaving the youth on the shelf
This place, is coming like a ghost town
No job to be found in this country
Can't go on no more
The people getting angry

Grandula vila morena - Zeca afonso

"There were two secret signals in the military coup: first the airing of the song E depois do adeus by Paulo de Carvalho, Portugal's entry in the 6th of April 1974 Eurovision Song Contest, which alerted the rebel captains and soldiers to begin the coup. Next, on April 25, 1974 at 12:15 am, the national radio broadcast Grândola, Vila Morena, a song by Zeca Afonso, a progressive folk singer forbidden on Portuguese radio at the time. This was the signal that the MFA gave to take over strategic points of power in the country and "announced" that the revolution had started and nothing would stop it except "the possibility of a regime's repression".
Six hours later, the Caetano regime relented. Despite repeated appeals from the "captains of April" (of the MFA) on the radio inciting the population to stay at home, thousands of Portuguese descended on the streets, mixing themselves with the military insurgents. One of the central points of those gathering was the Lisbon flower market, then richly stocked with carnations, which were in season. Some military insurgents would put these flowers in their gun-barrels, an image which was shown on television around the world. This would be the origin of the name of this "Carnation revolution". To clarify the above context, this was not a popular revolution but a military coup- there were no mass demonstrations by the general population prior to the coup.
Caetano found refuge in the main Lisbon military police station at the Largo do Carmo. This building was surrounded by the MFA, which pressured him to cede power to General Spínola. Both Caetano (the prime minister) and Américo Tomás (the President) fled to Brazil. Caetano spent the rest of his life in Brazil, while Tomás returned to Portugal a few years later.
The revolution was closely watched from neighbouring Spain, where the government and opposition were planning for the succession of Francisco Franco, who died a year later, in 1975."

(taken from wikipedia)

Grândola, vila morena
Terra da fraternidade
O povo é quem mais ordena
Dentro de ti, ó cidade

Dentro de ti, ó cidade
O povo é quem mais ordena
Terra da fraternidade
Grândola, vila morena

Em cada esquina, um amigo
Em cada rosto, igualdade
Grândola, vila morena
Terra da fraternidade

Terra da fraternidade
Grândola, vila morena
Em cada rosto, igualdade
O povo é quem mais ordena

À sombra duma azinheira
Que já não sabia a idade
Jurei ter por companheira
Grândola, a tua vontade

Grândola a tua vontade
Jurei ter por companheira
À sombra duma azinheira
Que já não sabia a idade

Grandola, sunburnt village, land of brotherhood!
The people are the ones who rule inside of you, oh city! On every corner a friend, equality in every face.
Grandola, sunburnt village, land of brotherhood! In the shade of an oak tree that didn’t know its age I swore to take your will as my comrade, Grandola!

LOVE MUSIC HATE RACISM

2008-04-28T04:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon i'm looking over my window. the weather was crap. it was pissing down.
My favourite musician ever would be playing in a few hours, in victoria park - London - for free and there I was even suggesting I might stay at home.

But love can move mountains, one said, and there i went.

3 tube jounerys and a bus journey later, I finaly made it.

The park is huge and the organisation guy said 100.000 people were there.
Not so sure about that one.

In my opinion, as a foreigner in this city, i thought it was a brilliant idea to have a a festival with great bands, some of the best musicians in the world, and all for a great cause and for free. I don't know if they got payed to do it or if they payed it themselves. It wasnt that trendy crap of live8 in which then later you know celebrities get perks of thousands of pounds.

On saturday i went for a walk with a friend at the southbank and ended up in the bookshop from tate modern.
I was showing my friend Gaudi's biography. Gaudi is one of my favourite artists. My friend never heard of Gaudi so i told him a bit about his work and his life. At the end of my explanation i conclued with a a thought i never had before. i said " How could someone do so much in only one life time". That thought was very deep for me and i started thinking about all the things i need to do. This was followed by the oddest question one has ever made in my living memory

(Are you ready art lovers?) " WAS GAUDI A MILIONAIRE?"

I MIGHT HAVE TURNED INTO A RAINBOW..." I don't know...i never thought about that to be honest...i know him for being a genious and he designed lots of buildings in Barcelona including the amazing sagrada familia"

he then continued" but don't you think he should be a milionaraire"

.... silence

" no. why? the respect the world has for him is bigger than any money in the world"

this lasted for at least half hour until i shut my trap.

I just couldn't believe my friend gave so much value to money. He gave the exemple of madre Teresa. he said she wasn't rich yet she did so much good to the world.

It's not that she didnt earn money, the money she got from her popularity she just gave it away because HELPING OTHERS WAS WORTH MORE THAN ANY MONEY IN THE WORLD!

Now back to music against racism.

I had to mention this conversation to make my point of this post.

Other people. with a different background than mine might think this is ridiculous or that it just doesn't make sense. And i dont mind at all because that's part of what i am, being tolerant.

i don't do things in my daily life to become rich and becoming a celebrity for me just doesn't make any sense.

of course i know that if i had more money i could rent or even buy a better house, or eat in better places, or travel more .

but what i have now is good and im grateful.i never questioned myself if gaudi was a milionaire of leonard da vince... to me they are genius and no money in the world can buy that. the knoledge they gave us made them happy and for them teaching others what they have found was the best thing ever.

it's all about the value you give to things.

i believe we should be tolerant and most of all respectful of one another. and if in our day to day basis we show our respect and our gratefulness, then, money may come easier. it's the force of us all united that makes the world go round.

I hope the 100.000 people yesterday at victoria park will make a change.

Half cousin

2008-04-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

the young girl becomes a woman

2008-04-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

In my country (Portugal) when a guy is a wanker we call them "clowns"

I have just came across another clown in my life and i have closed the door with the sound of this song from feist.

Under pressure

2008-04-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

hand on your heart

2008-04-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

Well it's one thing to fall in love
But another to make it last
I thought that we were just beginning
And now you say we're in the past
Look me in the eye
and tell me we are really through
You know it's one thing to say you love me
but another to mean it from the heart
And if you don't intend to see it through
why did we ever start?
I wanna hear you tell me
you don't want my love
Put your hand on your heart and tell me
it's all over
I won't believe it till you
put your hand on your heart and tell me
that we're through
Put your hand on your heart
They like to talk about for ever
Most people never get the chance
Do you wanna lose our love together
Do you find a new romance
I wanna hear you tell me
you don't want my love
Put your hand on your heart and tell me
it's all over
I won't believe it till you
put your hand on your heart and tell me
that we're through
Put your hand on your heart
hand on your heart
Look me in the eye
and tell me we are really through

To Hjorky

2008-04-22T05:21:00.000-07:00

A very close friend of mine is very ill.

I'm now paying my most honoured tribute to him.

I remember him from his birth. He was born in my bed, very close to me. I took care of him and his two little brothers, Thommy and Julieta

Hjorky is made of an unusual sweetness and a contageous happiness. We never teached him anything, it always came from himself. It's in his genes.

In this moment of deep sadness i pay tribute to one of my bestest friends.

We all have learnt to love and share with you.

we are truely and forever yours.

"i think you're the same as me, we see things they they'll never see, you and i we're gonna live forever"

Rocking Chair

2008-04-21T03:15:00.000-07:00

Moments

and more moments

and happy moments

and sad moments

i have now a rocking chair. I admit i have this weird old school side of me.

I now have a rocking chair.

And last night i listenned to Jose Gonzalez, sitting quietly in the dark.

His voice comes from heaven and blesses me everytime i ear it - in my head, in my headphones or in my speakers.

His voice, his inertia matches with me.

The big Family

2008-04-21T02:40:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I listen to music.

Started probably whn i stolen my sister's old Europe Tape with the famous hit "It's the final countdown". There was a song, in the end of side A called "Carrie" That i remember well too.

Other tracks remain very close to my heart, such as my favourite song ever "california dreaming" from Mama's and Pappas - don't ask me why, or "House of the rising Sun". All influenced by my dad.

But i have to say, when i really started listenning to music; when everything changed.

First phase I was 9 and discovered suede and radiohead. Second phase I was 13 - found blur and became a massive kula shaker fan - Even tattooed a "K" on my wrist.

3rd phase: 15 - smiths

4th phase: 17 - Sigur ros, Zero7, moloko, bjork

I guess i'm now on my 5th phase... Don't really know what sound i like.

But all and all, I picked randomly a song to listen and went back to an old tune from bernanrd butler "Not alone". I checked the video first because i remembered i used to love it. Watched it again now and didnt find as exciting, in fact a little bit takky. I still love the bits of him with the cats and he always looks good to me in his shirts.

All to say, by watching Bernand butler's video now and not quiet enjoying as much as the stetics of his video, i still love it, i guess because bernanrd is part of my family.

I think i have listenned so many times to these bands, read so many articles about them, i have now the feeling they belong to my family and therefore, no metter what they do, i'll always love them.

Bernand Butler was always my favourite from suede. He had nice hair, the way he danced with his guitar, the shirts ... A bit like jonny greenwood from radiohead. I didn't like brett anderson so much, left him for my sister...

Damon Albarn is another brother in this big family. He has now a silver tooth but i still like him.

You see, music gives you a big big family :)

4 minutes...? 2 seconds and i'm done!

2008-04-17T08:36:00.001-07:00

Where should I start? Is it a waist of time to make any comment about this video? should i start for the song? im still covered in my own vomit...

I liked madonna. I must say, i liked her but this song... and this video?

Once I was talking to a friend of mine and he said : "madonna copies so much i'm even embarressed"...got me thinking...

I have to admit, i always thought her copy/paste was clever but this time...

And what's with the effects in the video? Did she direct it aswell? Timberlake seems like he was walking down the road and madge suggested 'why not making a video now, i have some friends at Pinewood, they don't mind if we go there mess around"

I'm still digesting. I have to go now

Lame posts

2008-04-16T02:28:00.000-07:00

oops

I've just realised my last posts have been sooooooo lame i'm even embarrassed. I can't help it! I'm broken hearted and have been listenning to Duffy's album "rockferry". No wonder i'm getting all sentimental.

Lets play something ... not lame... for a change...

Let's say....

Sunrise

2008-04-15T07:25:00.001-07:00

I won' t share you

2008-04-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

Art School days... this was the last song in the ever so played tape.

My yellow walkman lasted a life time... with its elastics all over so the tape wouldn't jump out, a hair clip to make the contact on the headphones to play stereo... this is how i love music.

I won't share you.

Angels of Universe

2008-04-14T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you question yourself

Then angels appear

And you get answers.

The happy place

2008-04-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

I HAVE FOUND THE HAPPY PLACE

The happy place is the place where you go when you are sad, nothing works out, everyone hates you, you're ugly and fat, you're broke and unemotional.

Then you think of the best things in life. What makes you happy. What could happen to make you smile.

I imagine i'm in richmond park, in Iceland, at home with my cats and my dogs...

Then i wonder how my life will be; If i will have a nice house, in a nice neighbourhood, will i have children? what they would look like, the albums i haven't listened, the paintings i haven't seen, the cultures i whish to meet, the countries i want to visit...

And then i'm in the happy place.

Your heart is where your mind is? yap!

flowers in the windon it's such a lovely day and i'm glad you feel the same!

2008-04-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

JUST STAND UP!
OUT IN THE CROWD YOU ARE ONE IN A MILION AND I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO

LETS WATCH THE FLOWERS GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW OH OH WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Headphoneless

2008-04-10T02:32:00.000-07:00

Football players often hurt themselves and have to stop.It's a hugeproblem as they need it to work. Usualy it's their knees or feet foot ball...ahahha)

Me, it's my ears.

Two days ago, I was helping my boss, Mr Nick Napier Bell, to build a rack. The Rack is made of metal and when you bang with a hammer, IT MAKES A FUCKING LOUD NOISE!!! sorry for my french...

So i was suffering while helping him. The sound of the banging was too loud and high and i was trying to protect my ears but he probably thought i was being picky or silly. NO I WAS NOT

At some point he banged the stucture next to my right ear and the sound went straight like a knife into my ear drum. i felt my ear going "PUM!" and i imidiatly had to get out in an excutinating pain. I couldnt handle myself and started crying like a baby.

The right side of my face was well red!

My ear doesn't hurt but im pretty sure i might have lost something in there. Im going to the doctor next monday to check.

If something happened to my ear, my main tool will be very complicated. Not only i will have my career ruined i will also have to ask for ensurance, i dont have at work, and that will cause me a huge headache.

I 'm in this turning point in the company im working, where i am passing from being the runner of the company (THE ONLY ONE FOR MORE THAN 30 CUTTING ROOMS!!!) to become the companies sound mixer/sound designer.

I mixed yesterday and im mixing now. i feel something isnt quiet right though my ear doesn't hurt.

Anyway, i'm headphoneless. I can't listen to music on my headphones at least until i check it all out with my doctor.

For the past two days i've been singing songs in my head pretending im actualy listening to them.

This song is in repeat in my "brainpod" or in my "brainphones".

There we go!

p.s. THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN AND PRODUCED BY BERNANRD BUTLER, THE INITIAL SUEDE GUITARIST

Love and Poison

2008-04-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

Directed by Andy Crabb and David Lewis

I have posted tributes to many bands in this blog, but not yet to the band that influenced me the most in my life, Suede.

I listenned to "Animal Nitrated" for the first time when i was only 9 years old. Obviously was my sister who showed it me. It has changed our lives. They had a complete diferent sound and attitude from anything we had ever heard in our lives.

My sister got so mad with this band she wanted to know about them, but unfortunatly wasn't much to look at. we had MTV but suede were still small to be played on prime time... UNTIL... "Love and poison"!

Love and poison showed a gig from suede at brixton academy.She stood awake until 3 am and got up at 7 to go to school. Cheers!Thanks for that!

So at that point, we had another bunch of songs to hear. For more than a year all we had to listen from suede was that gig and we played it over and over and over.

I like specially Bernard Butler's moves. I thought he was cool. My sister liked Brett Anderson.

When bernard left the band was a shock for us, so i developed another passion, Mat Osman.

At school if we said we liked suede others would say " music to get up the ass" or " thats faggots music"

None of us is gay so i don't see the threaten...

Then one day i saw an add in a music paper of some guy in the north of the country proposing to make a suede fanclub so so i joined in. In this fanclub i meet my bestest friends and so it became more than just another band.

Suede got me together with a comunity. I was now being well accepted for what i liked to listen to, what i liked to dress to, colour of my hair and my personal thoughts of society.

So here's my tribute.

So young is my favourite song.

To Shane

2008-04-04T05:03:00.000-07:00

Video Directed by Garth Jennings

Disillusion"

Seems you created your own illusion
Fuelled by an image of me
Well I couldn't stay at your side
It wouldn't be right
A picture that I just don't see

Why do you have to make it so complicated
Can't it just be beautiful
I don't want to stifle your flight
I didn't mean to fall in love

Always in pursuit of the perfect people
Oh and I can see that it shows
But there's just an innocence in you I wanna wring out
I know it could be beautiful

But I don't want a part ofsome situation
I don't want to be in that boat
I don't want to stifle your flight
I didn't mean to fall in love

Seems you created your own illusion
Fuelled by an image of me
Well I couldn't stay at your side
It wouldn't be right
A picture that I just don't see

Powerless

2008-04-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it’s moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don’t fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do
Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do
Say what you want, say what you want, say, say, say

Cuz this life is too short,
just for you

Video directed by: Nelly Furtado & Bradley Cayford

The sound designer and the sound mixer walk hand in hand in the park

2008-04-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

This is part 2 of my debate of which is the role of the sound designer and the sound editor and the sound mixer.

So what i hear now everyone say is that the editor has most of the creative power.

SO BOLLOCKS! NOW I WANT TO BE AN EDITOR?

No i don't thank you very much!

So the poor sound mixer is just a mere puppet on a studio, working for his cancer (a lot of buildings are isolated with a sort of sponge that is cancerigenous (???)) trying to make miracles out of some people's demands ,such as the one i heard a few days ago " my friend is a sound engineer at the BBC and i have seen him working; when he has a crap sound he just presses a button - a buuuut-on - and the sound is all of a sudden much better" anyone, coments to this one???

this is purely ironic :WHAT DOES THE SOUND DESIGNER DO? he "builds the sounds of the rooms, the effects, all that crap that directors and editors and all that lot can't so...

The sound designer is not recognise in this fuckin stupid industry!

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN THE NAME OF A SOUND DESIGNER IN THE OPENING OF A FILM?

GO ON! SAY IT?

not offten i reckon...

Another subject i would like to make public today is that some people work in an office, should ask people in their office to cover them for lunch, not ask the engineers of the company to do it. sometimes they are with clients and would be lovely if they 'd say " i'm off to cover the office manager! sorry about that, she needs to go for lunch" while NONE OF US EVER TAKES A FUCKING LUNCH BREAK!

one is water the other is oil and they dont go together. I'm sorry.

hanging around

2008-04-02T02:56:00.001-07:00

Directed by sophie muller

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophie_Muller

Love will tear us apart

2008-03-31T02:57:00.000-07:00

Has anyone fell inlove with you, been really persistent to get your atention, did everything to make you like them?

And then PUFF, gone. With no reason, gone.

God-rich and god-poor

2008-03-27T04:02:00.000-07:00

Last night i heard critics of my work.

i would say it broke my heart, but then makes me sound wick, but it did, and i assume that it was very hard to hear those critics.

Went home in tears, cried rivers because, in my true sense, i believed what i had done was good and all the emotions i have, all the places i've been, all the people i meet, and my experience. Everything was put in my work. But i guess i have to swallow my pride and all the rolling culture inside, take my cap, and do what others say.

Maybe next time i will have the oportunity to be creative again.

Some people are creative. others just learn a program. everyone can learn a program, but not many can be creative.

I've been mixing one to two programs a day. IT'S TOO MUCH! my ears aren't that trained! i get really tired! of course my work is going to be shit!

plus had two days to do "sound design" for a new program. IT'S TOO MUCH!

the role of the sound designer

2008-03-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

If a sound designer takes ages to find the "perfect" song for the picture, then the director comes and says "i don't like it"

Should we change it or should we argue?

Should we show our point of view?

Are we artists or are we mere technicians?

does anyone read this?

2008-03-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

If anyone reads or read this blog PLEASE RAISE YOUR HANDS!!!

er...and leave comments...

It may be years until the day my dreams match my pay

2008-03-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Durected by patrick daughters

Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

Am I, or am i not a sound person?

2008-03-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

I am a sound person because i make a lot of it when i talk, sometimes when i walk, when wink, when a breath (just enough not to reach the poin of annoying) when i fart, or have an upset tummy, when i sneeze, when i eat, when im in silence...

But does that make me a sound person?

What makes me a sound person?

7 years studying = know nothing

7 years working with it =know nothing

Do i hear well? are my ears fine? Am i def?

I've done soap operas (telenovelas), then i did live shows (tiny ones, folk music - a lot of shouting really and we called it "Tradicional"). I am terrible with techical things. SEE? I SHOULD NEVER SAY THIS. BUT I AM, I'M CRAP!

I am so fucking emotional about sound! It changes my mood! maybe i don't listen consciencly, it's all internal!

Anyway, took a break when i moved to london and been a runner until now.

For the first time in my life i'm doing sound on my own. there's no one in the company to tell me what's wrong, in fact they count on me to tell them whats wrong.

I know what's wrong and i tella ya, starting on the fucking speakers that should be lower and are almost stuck on the ceiling because it "looks better", but i'm fuckin stretching my neck everytime im mixing.

INSTINCT!

IS THAT THE TIME I CAN USE MY INSTINCT!!!

Seeing on the brighter side, it's a way of doing mistakes and growing up because now it's for real, but im so affraid of making terrible mistakes people will actualy send me ear plugs!!!

I need books, experiences, i need someone to encourage me, i need a producer to tell me "you're in the right direction" ... or maybe i don't. Do I?

it's lovely being 24!

no video yet.

this is a reflexion post

Nigel Godrich

2008-03-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

You have read posts in this blog about him.

You will always read posts about him.

I went to the sound school because of him.

When my collegues said "do you know what you are doing" just because i 'm a girl, i would read interviews with him and would listen to his work more and more.

I moved to london because i wanted to meet him.

Destiny got us together for a short term but enough to give me the strenght to continue, like always.

Sometimes i see him in the street.

My hero is my father.

My idol is Nigel Godrich.

lucky

2008-03-25T04:12:00.000-07:00

I watched a program last night which didn't change my mind, but made me feel more and more sure about the things i believe.

The program was about two engineers, best friends, who decided to make this flying machine to fly over the Everest mount. Something almost impossible. It was this amazing gadget that looked basicaly like a more advanced parachute!!!!
At a certain high they would be in a temperature of - 40 degrees. they had to wear 5 layers of clothes and still they did not know for sure if all the machines, remotes, cameras and all sorts of gadgets they were using would work at such hight because of the extreme cold in that zone.

WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

The program was very well made, nerve racking, i was standing in front of my tv, i could not sit, it was too exciting! They were proving they could do things AS LONG AS THEY TRUST THEM.

this concept is very pretty, but luck is very important. Yes. But maybe being so focus, being so passionate,generates good vibes and then LUCK appears!

hm, got me thinking before i went to bed. In fact took me a while to fall asleep Just wondering the things i want and those i believe.

My posts are a bit lame, they end up being always the same subject but... the more time you read, say, think about things, the more chances there are for them to happen...

...

xx

DIVA LADY

2008-03-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

What a laugh

This song is dedicated on behalf of Eddie Stevens, to Roisin Murphy

What's the frequency, Kakela, not keneth

2008-03-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Er... many years ago, I believe Michael Stipe was thinking about the lyrics of a song and, as a visionaire he is, thought "I'm going to write this song about Raquel on the 17th day of march 2008..."seems ok", that's what he thought.

But for a little disguise he used the name Kenneth...

I don't mind, you can call me Kenneth.

TODAY I RECORDED MY FIRST SUPER HYPER PRO VOICE OVER EVER! A VOICE OVER FROM A FAMOUS GUY. FROM A FAMOUS VOICE. A VOICE THAT'S IN OUR TV EVERYDAY. A VOICE YOU CAN RECOGNISE UNDER WATER. YES!!!!

AND THE BEST THING WAS, I DIDNT MESS AROUND TECNHICALY LIKE I WAS AFFRAID I WOULD! I WAS VERY POLITE AND I SMILED OFTEN TO THE LOVELY ACTOR WHO RECORDED THE VOICE OVER! IN FACT...ok, this this my Lisa Simpson moment, i think i fel inlove with him! i can't help the scottish accent!!!! Ausie accent? RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWWWWWWWW

yeah. and he was sooooo funny!

I am absolutly exausted from all the work i had to do today but i'm happy!!!!

Here's the track Michael Stipe wrote for this day 12 years ago (1996?115...1995 isn't it?)

it goes like THIS

"What's The Frequency, Kenneth?"

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed
I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision from the outsider's screen
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh

I'd studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
Butterfly decal, rear-view mirror, dogging the scene
You smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
You said that irony was the shackles of youth, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
I never understood, don't fuck with me, uh-huh

Work changes

2008-03-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Receiving department, 3 a.m.
Staff cuts have socked up the overage
Directives are posted
No callbacks, complaints
Everywhere is calm

Hong Kong is present
Taipei awakes
All talk of circadian rhythm

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper

The bull and the bear are marking
Their territories
They're leading the blind with
Their international glories

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Daysleeper

They cried the other night
I can't even say why
Fluorescent flat caffeine lights
Its furious balancing

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Don't wake me with so much. The
Ocean machine is set to 9
I'll squeeze into heaven and valentine
My bed is pulling me,
Gravity
Daysleeper, daysleeper
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper

Have you ever worked somewhere you don't quiet feel like no longer the right place to be?

terry hall- yes or no?

2008-03-04T05:30:00.001-08:00

Do we like Terry Hall or not?

voting opens...

NOW

LAMB

2008-03-04T02:15:00.000-08:00

I hate lamb. Don't you ever dare to cook me lamb. I love them alive though...

But i'm not going to tll you about my food taste.

This is not their best tune but the lyrics in their simplicity are brutaly amazing

" The wonder of it all
I know everywhere, more than we know,
heaven's not up there,
but on earth below"

"Don't know if god exists"

"there's so much we're not aware"

I have a very weird relation with Lou Rhodes (the singer of lamb...the one with the lovely eye lashes)
I have meet her several times backstage in one of lambs milions of gigs in portugal. We never had an open heart conversation, we just give a few hints for what could turn into a conversation.

Then i moved to london and kept bumping into her in the street... To add all this weirdness her music always apears in my life with answers... this only happens with her and bjork by the way.

A couple of weeks ago i read her blog on her myspace page where she was telling her fans that for her next tour she was playing on her own, a solo artist in pure form. The reason for that is when she finished recording her second solo album "bloom" she had a phone call saying her sister had taken an overdose of painkillers. She only had time to fly to where she lived and say how much she loved her before her last breath.

My sister got suicide aswell. I think about it more and more. I don't look for an answer why she did it, but how that has changed my family's life. I haven't said specificaly how much i loved her, but i didnt have to. I talk to her all the time and i wonder what shw would say about london, about me working in film/music, what her job would be...
I became a very intense person. I am very passionate about things, i have hot blood for those i love and i can truely admire those i know for every little thing they do. Loosing someone you love dearly will never ever leave you.

Lou's solo is a prove of courage...though she does not need to prove anything to anyone. But being there on stage on her own, it's like being naked in silence for milions of people standing up and hungry. It take guts to do it.

Guts. Something a lot of people don't have. Face the unknown with good thoughts. Positivity does help. If your mind believes than your body believes.

The song goes like this...

For the most beautiful girl i know

2008-03-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

Girl, you'll be a woman... soon

I love you so much, can't count all the ways
I've died for you girl and all they can say is
"He's not your kind"
They never get tired of putting me down
And I'll never know when I come around
What I'm gonna find
Don't let them make up your mind.
Don't you know...

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon, you'll need a man

I've been misunderstood for all of my life
But what they're saying girl it cuts like a knife
"The boy's no good"
Well I've finally found what I'm a looking for
But if they get their chance they'll end it for sure
Surely would
Baby I've done all I could
Now it's up to you...

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon, you'll need a man

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon but soon, you'll need a man

Não tenhas medo. Hoje é p primeiro dia do resto da tua vida.

xxxx da irmã a.k.a. best friend

keyboard line sweet melody

2008-03-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

(are you) the one

2008-02-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

I feel dizzy and bored with no big reason, except maybe the weather. The weather is shit today, it's dark. Very British.

I feel like hibernating today.

The soundtrack: Nick Cave - Boatman's call

It's a current question "are you the One that I've been waiting for?" We keep asking everytime One comes around and One goes around...

Like i said, i want to hibernate today. i'll be better tomorrow.

Will put my head into some nice wave forms.

And it goes like this...

be kind, rewind

2008-02-28T13:15:00.000-08:00

I haven´t watched a film i loved for a while.

This is a tribute to us, the VHS lovers! And just lovers in general...lovers as in people who love...love ...stuff...

<3

2008-02-27T04:11:00.000-08:00

Down from my... ceiling
Drips great noise.
It drips on my head through a hole in the roof.

Behind these two hills heeere...
There's a pool.

And when I'm swimming in
through a tunnel....
I shut my eyes.

Inside their cabin I make sounds
In through the tubes I send this noise.

Behind these two hills heeere...
fall asleep.
And when I flood in green grass of tunnel...
It floods back.

Down from my... ceiling
drips great noise.

It drips on my head through a hole in the roof.

Behind these two hills heeere..
there's a pool.
And when I'm swimming in
through a tunnel....
I shut my eyes.

An Attitude Problem

2008-02-26T08:19:00.000-08:00

This post is aaaaaaaaaaall about me! me me me me me me!

I have an attitude problem or do i have a big personality? I seem to think i know best, but i am a capricorn and we know best.
I am arrogant because bitter attracks sweetness.

I do have a stuck up nose

I DO

I AM ME! AND I AM I! AND I AM ME! AND I AM MYSELF ONLY! I AM ONE! AND I WAS THE STRONGER ONE ONCE, I WILL BE AS MANY TIMES AS I WANT.

BECAUSE

I AM ME!

I AM MYSELF .

I AM BLUNT, RAW, CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.

I PROTECT YOU WITH MY ATTITUDE BECAUSE I AM STRONGER

I HAVE GUTS

THAT'S MY ATTITUDE

I AM ONE.

To Emma

2008-02-26T01:40:00.000-08:00

Stand up
You've got to manage
I won't sympathize
Anymore

And if you complain once more
You'lll meet an army of me

You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self sufficience please!
And get to work

And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me

You're on your own now
We won't save you
Your rescue squad
Is too eshausted

And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me

Tea with Gondry

2008-02-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

I LOVE TREES! MAKE TRADE FAIR!

2008-02-22T10:08:00.001-08:00

I'm a worried human being.

I have been watching programs about cotton farms in india and clothes factories. The organic/trade fair vs cheaper deals /deaths

In an organic cotton field the workers were happier and healthier.

In the non organic fields, because of perticides, people developed desieses, some were blind, lost an arm of could not walk anymore. Its was very sad to see how the shirts from Pirmark i have at home were made...

In the factories non trade fair 14 year old girls had to work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, standying up with no breaks.

I haven't shoped for any clothes since i first found these truths. I wont be shopping for clothes for a while actualy. I have decided i have enough clothes and that i just need to be creative with those i already have.
And next time i shop for any item im going to be aware of all these metters.

For instance, if you go shopping for food or anything else, check first where it comes from. if it comes from another continent a lot of chances are that it came by airplane. Do you know what that does to Planet Earth?Also by buying products made in the country you are living in will only help your economy to grow.

I went to a japanese shop today called Muji to buy a notebook. Aparently everything is recycled and "organic" but is it really or just has a very zen look in disguise for a big vampire? I need to investigate. Does anyone know?

I'm opened for debate.

I'm not posting any songs today, I need silence to replan my life avoiding as much unfair trades.

just listen to these songs

2008-02-20T04:21:00.000-08:00

madness our house

2008-02-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

After the rain comes sun...

Many thoughts came into my head today while re decorating my bedroom... One was odd but quiet true .

I came to the conclusion whenever my family decides to get a big house bad things happen.

This is our second big house. The first one i wont even tell you, would bring tears to your eyes and a sadness you would never be free of...

This time, is sad too but not aaaaaas sad.

Our neighbours decided to make a petition against my family because we have too many dogs. It´s true, we do have too many, but we sleep well at night because they are still alive and bringing joy to many many lives.

Many police complaints later my parents have finally found the perfect house - a very small house where they will be happier.

Smaller houses are like that. I don´t know if the good energies travel better or safer in smaller places, but it´s true. our first house was tinny but we have never been happier.

Because our life is made of a lot of MADNESS i thought no better tracks to define this situation.

Plus, i must declare here, in front of the world wide web I AM SO PROUD OF MY FAMILY BACK AT HOME WHO ARE STRONGER THAN NEVER, STRONG LIKE ROCKS.

And it goes like this...

To my socks

2008-02-15T00:04:00.000-08:00

This post has no song yet, i have to think about it now on my way to work.

But This is dedicated to my socks (here it goes)

SOCKS!

I KNOW YOU HAVE NEEDS!

I KEEP YOU FROM HAVING HOLES

I WASH YOU AFTER WEARING YOU ONLY ONCE, AND IT´S EMBARRASSING SOMETIMES TO ASSUME THAT

I KNOW YOU HAVE LEGS!!!

YOU ARE NOT JUST FEET, YOU HAVE LEGS

LITTLE ONES

AND USUALY YOU DONT LIKE YOUR TWIN

YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO RUN AWAY

NOW TELL, WHAT AM I SUPOSED TO DO WITH JUST ONE SOCK!!!

think about this

Viva Zwei - May rest in peace

2008-02-11T12:06:00.000-08:00

My sister and I both have bloggs about our favourite songs. My blog is more related to their videos anyway.

The only reason for these blogs is the existence in a time far far away of a German chanel called VIVA ZWEI.

We didn´t have cable tv at home, only the short signal of someone´s satelite. Destiny made the signal of Viva ZWEI apear in our tv. We spent hours and hours trying to understand what they were talking about. after a few years we could pick some stuff... if not the essencial which was good music. Our favorite presenter was Charlotte Roche. She had the best make up i have ever seen in a tv presenter.

Tocotronic were one of those bands we found.

And it goes like this...

Ps. Also check http://synchronise-love.blogspot.com/

Rich Nature

2008-02-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

I had a day closer to what´s my religion - Nature. There is nothing better than a day closer to clean fresh air, trees, animals and the harmony they crete between them. Me, as the human being completing this chain, of course.

This song didnt get out of my mind today when i waked in Richmond Park - London.

The video wasn´t filmed there but it´s very similar.

I would have loved to post lamb´s video for God Bless which was filmed at richmond park making it look like an exotic island but there was no code on you tube. You can always check it in this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWaT3L-f3Ro

I´m now feeling full of energy even though i spent about 6 hours walking in the cold but felt so good

ps. these are my friends Ana and Felix.

K

2008-02-08T03:22:00.000-08:00

12 years and a tattoo later, i´m finally going to see Kula Shaker live at Shepherds bush tonight. I shall report later

Your camera never has batteries when you need them the most. I have my theory: it´s because you need to enjoy the moment instead of looking through a camera lens.

this is the only photo i took. better than nothing. the rest is in my memory

TAXLOSS

2008-02-07T12:17:00.001-08:00

Ronson, We need to talk

2008-02-06T01:46:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS THIS?!

I WILL ASK AGAIN, ONLY ONCE MORE, WHAT DA F?%&/ S GOING ON?

What´s with all this buzz now around Mark Ronson? Because he produced Amy Winehouse´s album? Look at her! She´s in a state!!!!!!The album is good but sound exactly like all albums! What´s the fuss!

Then the man comes, kills an anthem (Just, from Radiohead) and you let him roam the streets as if nothing has happened? Just, just like that? With no shame! No no, nothing! nicles!

This video could be an insult! Years and years trying to find out the meaning of the original´s video and PUM, MARK RONSON COMES AND THINKS HE KNOWS THE END!

The following video is an example of how bad can a video be,

And it goes like this...

To you, yes YOU

2008-02-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

So WE, me and the other mes, are posting a song that makes us happy.

a door closed a window opened. a door and a window closed, a roof opened. Hope

2008-02-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

This is a post full of hope. I look at my life and i can see a very dark road to walk. But i don´t know why, or where i get this from, i seem to find myself an infinite hope and peace

I need hope to help myself and the others. Right now i know i haven´t been the best friend to my friends. I have been avoiding them and hiding myself. I´ve been living a very independent life which i don´t know right now if it´s the best way to go, but i feel great just sitting on my own, listening to sigur ros and posting my blog even if no one reads it.

the tascam does not love me now

2008-02-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

Right. So i had a bad day and, by the normal course of events, later i'll have a great night. I hope.

My profession is related with sound. that's what i've studied and what i love. but what do i really love about sound? i like the emotion of it, what music can bring to our society, not exactly how to plug a sync box to a pro tools and then to a tascam da 88

The last couple of days ive been bombarded with so much technical information about HD film that i don't even know if i understood everything. I wonder if i ever notice that if all im looking for is the emotion...

And so many producers are into that lame shit that is emotions! yes!

Today i couldn't record my pro tools edit to the tascam, tomorrow ill find out. and if i dont find out, maybe i dont need that. in my mind has been playing all day "charmed life" from divine comedy. in case you haven't figgered out yet, neil hannon is my favourite lyricist.

To Neil, for all the hope you give me.

And it goes like this...

When I hold you in my arms,
And look back on my charmed-
life
My charmed life
I hope, I hope if nothing more
That one day you’ll call your-
Life
A charmed life

Well I never really worried that much
About making lots of money and such
And I always seemed to land on my feet.
Though there’s been some difficult times
The good times where never far behind
I snatched all of my victories from the jaws of defeat

When I hold you in my arms,
And look back on my charmed-
life
My charmed life
I hope, I hope if nothing more
That one day you’ll call your-
Life
A charmed life

Well the course of true love never ran smooth
They broke my heart, and I broke theirs too
And breaking up was so very hard to do
But I knew I’d find the one
And sure enough she came along
And not long after that along came you

Well sometimes this life is like being afloat
On a raging sea in a little row boat
Just trying not to be washed overboard
But if you take your chances and you ride your luck
And you never, never, never, never, never give up
Well those waves will see you safely to a friendly shore

When I hold you in my arms,
I know that this is a charmed-
life
A charmed life

Pavement-Shady Lane

2008-01-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

Oh, God bless me for all the years i spent staring at my TV!
This is my favourite Pavement Track.
I like Steve Malkumus's singing, and i tell you why. The first episode of the Portuguese version of Sesame Street started on the same day i started Primary School. I saw all the adds for this new tv show and i knew it was american because i had seen the add in a satelite channel. I like the big bird but my favourite was the dracula - he's got a funny accent.
Oh well, the songs in sesame street don't usualy rhime and they always have to sing it in an od way to make it fit the melody and Steve Malkumus sings like that, doesn't he?

ok, i'll leave now, i just said Steve Malkumus sings like Sesame street characters...

BEST to listen to their songs. I love them.
I was assisting one of the cutting rooms on Nigel Godrich's Tv program, " From the Basement"(BY THE WAY, CHECK IT OUT ON WWW.FROMTHEBASEMENT.COM) a few months ago and my eye was caught when i saw the bass player from Pavement is now playing with Sonic Youth,

Oh joy

Check the special effects in this video! they are wicked! ahahahahahahaha

And it goes like this...

Declare independence don't let them do that to you?

2008-01-28T04:27:00.000-08:00

I was looking for "Human Behaviour" or "All is full of love" to add to my favourite videos ever, to share with all of you, when i checked that Bjork has released her new video.
This song "declare independence" is from Bjork's most recent album, Volta, released last year.
I'm always very excited when bjork puts a new album out there, but i have to be honest, "Volta" didn't do much for me. I love the artwork (as always). My favourite tracks are this one, " the dull flame of desire" and "earth intruders" but the other ones just don't do much for me. Usualy her albums take a while to understand, and then you get to the point where you just can't take her songs out of your ipod/headphones. it gets addictive. But no, not this one.
Also i think she produces too much music. there's too much coming out and starts being a bit too much to digest.

Never the less, she's my favourite artist, always has been.

Declare independence is a very political song and the video even more so. A man playing an instrument with strings that leads to Bjork that leads to a crowd with no character. Bjork is telling them to raise their flags and be patriotic about whatever they want to, or they are proud of, but also seems slightly fascist... BJORK ISNT A FASCIST I know she's not. That's a character. Her character though is a bit fascist, she even raises her arm like hitler did. I bet she's having lots of critics.

To me this "fascism" is more, maybe, and this is just a personal opinion, about the music industry. because p[eople are attached to the strings that are producing the music. so i see it as " you hear what i want you to hear" now RAISE YOUR FLAGS!!! its a bittwer sweet message. she had to get slightly fascist to sort of wake this crowd!

oh. i still have mixed opinions about this video. i need to digeste it a little more.
Tell me your opinion. Lets open a debate.

And it goes like this

Strangelove

2008-01-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

And here´s another love of my life - Strangelove.
First heard of them through Ed O´Brien from Radiohead who appeared in a magazine wearing a t-shirt of the band.I liked the artwork of the cover of "strangelove" which was the print on Ed´s t shirt. Went to Virgin Megastore in Lisbon (yes yes, it had just opened and now i was safe! at last a place where i could get my records!)
Patrick duff´s photos were in my bedroom´s wall (side to side with Damon Albarn´s). I remember when i was in the art school, walking to school listening to their songs... so deep, so emotional... Patrick Duff´s lyrics are so beautiful and pure... The last track on the b side of the tape was "sea of black" and it was just the time it took me to go to school. So still today, if i pass by the entrance of the art school, that´s what it sounds like.

Once on summer holidays me and my family went to Bristol. It was a short visit - Bristol didn´t seem to have much to see. I even putted my glasses with the hope of seing Patrick Duff somewhere. Nope, i didn´t see him. It broke my heart. Everyone was joking with me in the caravan on the way to London. My dad said "ok! enough, stop joking with her, lets stop and have a coffee in this petrol station.

My head was down. I was so sad i didn´t meet Patrick Duff until someone comes to me and says " Raquel! Raquel Welsh from Portugal!". You are never gonna guess who it was... JAMES DEAN BRADFIELD from Manic street Preachers!!!!!!

He gave me free tickets for this festival they were playing and backstage passes.He said " even if you don´t go, try to sell them cos you´ll make good money to continue your trip"

oh destiny...

*sigh*

will i ever meet Patrick Duff? I wonder...

And the song goes like this...

Pulp at 6 am

2008-01-27T08:52:00.000-08:00

Oh oh oh. This Blog is a series of nostalgic moments i am sharing with the world.

I believe i was born with a walkman and headphones attached to me body, lets say, heaphones go to my ears, of course, and walkman could have one of those geekey pieces you could attach to your belt and look like bill gates, but cooler, it´s a walkman we are talking about for god sake!
When i started going out to clubs, i was 15 and my friends were coming out of the closet and they thought they were gay. I was not gay for loving someone with a similar body to mine, but i was gay to to out and see the people, the tribes, the dancing in beautiful colors and sounds. Some of those friends are now getting married with lovely girls... How bizarre.

Oh well, my walkman was the friend who never failed to take me home safe and sound in the half hour journey home at 6 am.

This is a classic, don´t you think? Everyone feels like the lyrics of this song, no?

I loved when Pulp performed this song at the mythic 1996 brit awards. In the end of the performance Jarvis is elevated in the air.

Beautiful. A pleasure.
And it goes like this...

Pulp

2008-01-27T08:42:00.000-08:00

Who is this man who´s trying to look like Brett Anderson but inside a supermarket car?

hm

I didn´t notice this song. I notice the video.... I was intrigued for a while... there was no internet or even the thought of wikipedia back in 1996. This single, Common People was realeased in 1995, but only came to me a year later.
Soon Disco 2000 aproached me and made much since.
Then i went back to Common people and started my proper dancefloor moves in front of th tv trying to make Jarvis cocker´s choreography. After all, he doesn´t look a thing like Brett Anderson, and after all these years, Jarvis Cocker has showed me as a better artist, way more interesting than Anderson.

It was good to meet you jarvis. You teached me the moves.
And it goes like this...

The Happy Goth

2008-01-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

"The lonely road you choose to travel on, it must seem awfully long.
Innocence all gone,
It must be wrong to hide your lovely face away.
That music you play, I'm not saying it's bad, it just seems terribly sad.
Is everything all right?
I'd like to think you'd tell me if something was wrong”.

Well her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth.
She wears Dr. Martens and a heavy cross,
But on the inside she's a happy goth.

"Don't worry Mum, don't worry Dad.
The hours that I spend alone are the happiest I've ever had”.

That's what she'd say if she ever spoke to you,
But it's something she can never do.
'Cos it's only by herself that she'll find out
What makes her different from the rest.

Well her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth.
She wears Dr. Martens and a heavy cross,
But on the inside she's a happy goth.

I never wore black clothes or a heavy cross.

I did have a pair of Dr Martens and a pale face, which, don´t ask me why, i wanted whiter and whiter. Never saw the snow of Hoth.I had long hair, and always in my face. True true.

I did love to be on my own. Still I do. It´s frightening sometimes to recognize that i do enjoy the time i spend on my own. Don´t get me wrong, i have lovely friends and i socialize these days, but nothing like a quiet day listening to my favorite albums, videos, doing my blog, writing my diary...

I think many times my parents thought the words of this song, specially my dad. But the good thing is that he always knew i was a "happy goth" and for that, not so much to worry after all.

To all you goths out there, there´s no problem!

And it goes like this...

Ps. Dedicated to Estela and Sofia

Longpigs - Lost Myself

2008-01-27T06:18:00.000-08:00

It is a beautiful tune. It´s not my favorite but a very important track. Marked, for sure, a changing point in my life.

I have an absolute devotion for music and with it comes music videos. For years and years the only sport i practiced was running like mad from my bedroom to the living room. A complete looney to touch the magic button of rec and copy my favorite videos.That used to upset my parents who were quietly enjoying their calm evening. Many times fell in the floor, had many bruises. The video was always ready and the tape HAD to be inside the video. It was my first ever obsession. I got over it after a few years but i´m getting back to it now though not so strong because there´s Youtube.If only i knew that one day record companies would release DVDs (WHAT??????) with all the videos...

I had a tape ready inside my VHS player on saturday afternoon, exactly the 1st of May of 1997 when my dad insisted that i cleaned something he thought i messed. I said, like any rebel girl of 13 that i didn´t do it, so i wouldn´t tidy. He felt upset, like never before, opened the VHS player and took my tape out and smashed it full of rage. My father is the most pacient man i´ve ever known, he is so kind and generous. He was not in good day. Happens to all...

when i saw my tape in pieces i couldnt´t believe and cried for many days. In this tape was Longpigs performing at TOTP "Lost myself". 11 years ago, in a suburb near Lisbon was very difficult to get records, better to buy them. No one, appart from my sister, knew the same bands as us where we lived. They used to call us "britpop girls".There was a channel that played on saturday afternoon the latest TOTP edition and that was my only source to ear the new sounds of britpop. To me losing that tape was like loosing a piece of me. Those VHS were my soul. Still today they are. It was my world, all my dreams combined in magnetic tapes. But one was broken.

i took every single piece of the tape and very carefully kept it inside a grey Virgin bag for more than 7 years. I knew technology or i would find in the future a way to have that Longpigs recording back.

And so it happened. First I glued the tape gently; Then opened another tape ( it had recorded the user´s guide to use my mobilephone - not interesting) and placed the tape into the new one. Closed it and tried to play it. With success i saw it again. I cried tears of joy. The version you see is not the one in my tape, but it´s a good one aswell.

After all, never loose faith in what you love the most, whatever it is that you love dearly.And it goes like this...

Radiohead - Just

2008-01-27T06:04:00.000-08:00

Radiohead are one of my favourite bands all time. I could write a book with all my thoughts of them. I remember the first time i heard creep. Recorded from our old Sharp radio that used to be in our kitchen. It was a very bad recording but it was the only way to hear the song over and over again. I was nine. Had a very old blue walkman, my first one ever, which i used to take to the school bus for the everyday half hour jouney home. The kids my age didn´t quiet understand why would i listen to such a heavy track and so didn´t i, but Radiohead made since to me from an early age.

Then we managed by dodgy ways to have MTV in our living room and soon I watched "Just".

Completly blew my mind and still today i wonder what the man says to the police officer. I guess that´s the joy of this short film. No meter how many years will pass, i will always, always imagine the end. And while i grow older the end is changing all the time.

This video is my all time favorite and because of this i always wanted to be a music video director.

And it goes like this...