Love will tear us apart

Has anyone fell inlove with you, been really persistent to get your atention, did everything to make you like them?

And then PUFF, gone. With no reason, gone.

God-rich and god-poor

Last night i heard critics of my work.

i would say it broke my heart, but then makes me sound wick, but it did, and i assume that it was very hard to hear those critics.

Went home in tears, cried rivers because, in my true sense, i believed what i had done was good and all the emotions i have, all the places i've been, all the people i meet, and my experience. Everything was put in my work. But i guess i have to swallow my pride and all the rolling culture inside, take my cap, and do what others say.

Maybe next time i will have the oportunity to be creative again.

Some people are creative. others just learn a program. everyone can learn a program, but not many can be creative.

I've been mixing one to two programs a day. IT'S TOO MUCH! my ears aren't that trained! i get really tired! of course my work is going to be shit!


plus had two days to do "sound design" for a new program. IT'S TOO MUCH!

the role of the sound designer

If a sound designer takes ages to find the "perfect" song for the picture, then the director comes and says "i don't like it"

Should we change it or should we argue?

Should we show our point of view?

Are we artists or are we mere technicians?

does anyone read this?

If anyone reads or read this blog PLEASE RAISE YOUR HANDS!!!



er...and leave comments...

It may be years until the day my dreams match my pay

Durected by patrick daughters

Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

Am I, or am i not a sound person?

I am a sound person because i make a lot of it when i talk, sometimes when i walk, when wink, when a breath (just enough not to reach the poin of annoying) when i fart, or have an upset tummy, when i sneeze, when i eat, when im in silence...

But does that make me a sound person?

What makes me a sound person?

7 years studying = know nothing

7 years working with it =know nothing


Do i hear well? are my ears fine? Am i def?

I've done soap operas (telenovelas), then i did live shows (tiny ones, folk music - a lot of shouting really and we called it "Tradicional"). I am terrible with techical things. SEE? I SHOULD NEVER SAY THIS. BUT I AM, I'M CRAP!

I am so fucking emotional about sound! It changes my mood! maybe i don't listen consciencly, it's all internal!

Anyway, took a break when i moved to london and been a runner until now.

For the first time in my life i'm doing sound on my own. there's no one in the company to tell me what's wrong, in fact they count on me to tell them whats wrong.

I know what's wrong and i tella ya, starting on the fucking speakers that should be lower and are almost stuck on the ceiling because it "looks better", but i'm fuckin stretching my neck everytime im mixing.

INSTINCT!

IS THAT THE TIME I CAN USE MY INSTINCT!!!

Seeing on the brighter side, it's a way of doing mistakes and growing up because now it's for real, but im so affraid of making terrible mistakes people will actualy send me ear plugs!!!

I need books, experiences, i need someone to encourage me, i need a producer to tell me "you're in the right direction" ... or maybe i don't. Do I?


it's lovely being 24!

no video yet.

this is a reflexion post

Nigel Godrich

You have read posts in this blog about him.

You will always read posts about him.

I went to the sound school because of him.

When my collegues said "do you know what you are doing" just because i 'm a girl, i would read interviews with him and would listen to his work more and more.

I moved to london because i wanted to meet him.

Destiny got us together for a short term but enough to give me the strenght to continue, like always.

Sometimes i see him in the street.

My hero is my father.

My idol is Nigel Godrich.

lucky

I watched a program last night which didn't change my mind, but made me feel more and more sure about the things i believe.

The program was about two engineers, best friends, who decided to make this flying machine to fly over the Everest mount. Something almost impossible. It was this amazing gadget that looked basicaly like a more advanced parachute!!!!
At a certain high they would be in a temperature of - 40 degrees. they had to wear 5 layers of clothes and still they did not know for sure if all the machines, remotes, cameras and all sorts of gadgets they were using would work at such hight because of the extreme cold in that zone.


WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

The program was very well made, nerve racking, i was standing in front of my tv, i could not sit, it was too exciting! They were proving they could do things AS LONG AS THEY TRUST THEM.

this concept is very pretty, but luck is very important. Yes. But maybe being so focus, being so passionate,generates good vibes and then LUCK appears!

hm, got me thinking before i went to bed. In fact took me a while to fall asleep Just wondering the things i want and those i believe.

My posts are a bit lame, they end up being always the same subject but... the more time you read, say, think about things, the more chances there are for them to happen...


...

xx

DIVA LADY

What a laugh

This song is dedicated on behalf of Eddie Stevens, to Roisin Murphy

What's the frequency, Kakela, not keneth

Er... many years ago, I believe Michael Stipe was thinking about the lyrics of a song and, as a visionaire he is, thought "I'm going to write this song about Raquel on the 17th day of march 2008..."seems ok", that's what he thought.

But for a little disguise he used the name Kenneth...

I don't mind, you can call me Kenneth.

TODAY I RECORDED MY FIRST SUPER HYPER PRO VOICE OVER EVER! A VOICE OVER FROM A FAMOUS GUY. FROM A FAMOUS VOICE. A VOICE THAT'S IN OUR TV EVERYDAY. A VOICE YOU CAN RECOGNISE UNDER WATER. YES!!!!

AND THE BEST THING WAS, I DIDNT MESS AROUND TECNHICALY LIKE I WAS AFFRAID I WOULD! I WAS VERY POLITE AND I SMILED OFTEN TO THE LOVELY ACTOR WHO RECORDED THE VOICE OVER! IN FACT...ok, this this my Lisa Simpson moment, i think i fel inlove with him! i can't help the scottish accent!!!! Ausie accent? RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWWWWWWWW

yeah. and he was sooooo funny!

I am absolutly exausted from all the work i had to do today but i'm happy!!!!

Here's the track Michael Stipe wrote for this day 12 years ago (1996?115...1995 isn't it?)

it goes like THIS

"What's The Frequency, Kenneth?"

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed
I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision from the outsider's screen
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh

I'd studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
Butterfly decal, rear-view mirror, dogging the scene
You smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
You said that irony was the shackles of youth, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I couldn't understand
I never understood, don't fuck with me, uh-huh

Work changes

Receiving department, 3 a.m.
Staff cuts have socked up the overage
Directives are posted
No callbacks, complaints
Everywhere is calm

Hong Kong is present
Taipei awakes
All talk of circadian rhythm

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper

The bull and the bear are marking
Their territories
They're leading the blind with
Their international glories

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Daysleeper

They cried the other night
I can't even say why
Fluorescent flat caffeine lights
Its furious balancing

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night

I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much
Don't wake me with so much. The
Ocean machine is set to 9
I'll squeeze into heaven and valentine
My bed is pulling me,
Gravity
Daysleeper, daysleeper
Daysleeper, daysleeper, daysleeper



Have you ever worked somewhere you don't quiet feel like no longer the right place to be?

terry hall- yes or no?

Do we like Terry Hall or not?

voting opens...



NOW

LAMB

I hate lamb. Don't you ever dare to cook me lamb. I love them alive though...

But i'm not going to tll you about my food taste.

This is not their best tune but the lyrics in their simplicity are brutaly amazing

" The wonder of it all
I know everywhere, more than we know,
heaven's not up there,
but on earth below"

"Don't know if god exists"

"there's so much we're not aware"

I have a very weird relation with Lou Rhodes (the singer of lamb...the one with the lovely eye lashes)
I have meet her several times backstage in one of lambs milions of gigs in portugal. We never had an open heart conversation, we just give a few hints for what could turn into a conversation.

Then i moved to london and kept bumping into her in the street... To add all this weirdness her music always apears in my life with answers... this only happens with her and bjork by the way.

A couple of weeks ago i read her blog on her myspace page where she was telling her fans that for her next tour she was playing on her own, a solo artist in pure form. The reason for that is when she finished recording her second solo album "bloom" she had a phone call saying her sister had taken an overdose of painkillers. She only had time to fly to where she lived and say how much she loved her before her last breath.

My sister got suicide aswell. I think about it more and more. I don't look for an answer why she did it, but how that has changed my family's life. I haven't said specificaly how much i loved her, but i didnt have to. I talk to her all the time and i wonder what shw would say about london, about me working in film/music, what her job would be...
I became a very intense person. I am very passionate about things, i have hot blood for those i love and i can truely admire those i know for every little thing they do. Loosing someone you love dearly will never ever leave you.

Lou's solo is a prove of courage...though she does not need to prove anything to anyone. But being there on stage on her own, it's like being naked in silence for milions of people standing up and hungry. It take guts to do it.

Guts. Something a lot of people don't have. Face the unknown with good thoughts. Positivity does help. If your mind believes than your body believes.

The song goes like this...

For the most beautiful girl i know

Girl, you'll be a woman... soon

I love you so much, can't count all the ways
I've died for you girl and all they can say is
"He's not your kind"
They never get tired of putting me down
And I'll never know when I come around
What I'm gonna find
Don't let them make up your mind.
Don't you know...

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon, you'll need a man

I've been misunderstood for all of my life
But what they're saying girl it cuts like a knife
"The boy's no good"
Well I've finally found what I'm a looking for
But if they get their chance they'll end it for sure
Surely would
Baby I've done all I could
Now it's up to you...

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon, you'll need a man

Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Please, come take my hand
Girl, you'll be a woman soon,
Soon but soon, you'll need a man


Não tenhas medo. Hoje é p primeiro dia do resto da tua vida.

xxxx da irmã a.k.a. best friend

keyboard line sweet melody